A day without sunshine is, like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.

Perhaps you're diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Drive your pickup truck way too fast and you don't have to worry about cholesterol.

If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.

Borrow money only from pessimists; they don't expect it back.

Support bacteria; they’re the only culture some people have.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy the evidence.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.